I am not sure of the origin of this apocryphal story or joke.
Someone sent it to me in an email a while ago, and it made me laugh-out-loud, so there must be enough recognizable truth in here about the relationship between film directors and their producers to make it worth sharing with you here:
A man on board an air balloon realizes he’s gotten himself lost.
He lowers his altitude and sees a woman in the middle of a big field. He gets closer and yells out: “I’m sorry, miss. Would you be so kind as to help me? I promised a friend that I’d meet him an hour ago, but I have no idea where I am.”
The woman answers: “You are on board an air balloon, which is propelled by hot air, at an approximate height of 33 feet above sea level. Geographically speaking, you’re position is between 40 and 41 degrees latitude north, 59 and 60 degrees longitude west.”
“You must be a producer,” says the man in the balloon.
“Why, yes, I am,” says the woman, surprised. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the man, “everything you said is correct, technically speaking. However, I have no idea how to take advantage of the information. And the fact is I still have no clue where I am. Honestly, you haven’t been of great help.”
The woman thinks for a moment and then says with certainty: - “You must be a director.”
“Yes,” says the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” she replies, “to begin with, you have no clue where you are or where you’re going. You’ve elevated yourself to where you are thanks to a huge amount of hot air. You’ve made a promise you don’t know how to keep. And you expect that I will solve the problem. The fact is, you’re in the same situation you were in before we met, but now, for some reason, I’m to blame.”
The Producer continues, “Well, no bother, I am used to that from directors, and I want to help you get to where you want to go nonetheless.”
“Great!” says the man, “I must go to the top of The Right Mountain.” So the woman assembles a team of hundreds and builds tunnels, bridges, and roads, inventing new tools in the process. She picks the man up and carries him on her back but it’s not to The Right Mountain, but The Left Mountain top that she brings The Director, and there he meets his friend.
The Director rejoices: “I did it! I did it! I did it all by myself. I shall call this My Mountain, my road, my bridge, and my tunnel.”.
The Producer just smiles, leads the crew back down the hill, thanks them, gives them a t-shirt, dinner and a nice pay check, but wondering all the while how to pay her mortgage and health insurance.
A large company puts up a toll on The Left Mountain Road and charges the people who have lived there on Left Mountain to use it, sending The Producer statements saying that despite generating far more revenue than the road cost to build, it is at a deficit.
The Large Company then agrees to pay The Director’s expenses for the next two years and charge it to The Producer’s road.
Sound familiar?
Enjoy?
william
